DUMPY

Umm... so this isn't very nice but I am going to write it anyway...

My calling at church is "Break the fast co-chair" and I am in charge of feeding 80 PEOPLE a full meal once a month as well as a munch and mingle every 3rd Sunday and it is actually a lot more stressful of a calling then I really thought it would be before I was called. Actually, I lied, I never even gave it any thought in my life until I was called. Anyway The gigantic meal took place last Sunday and we were all ready to go with like 40 pounds of mashed potatoes and lots of stuffing, a ham, rolls, salad, all that kind of stuff and things went down rather smoothly. Anyway after it was all over it was time for clean up and luckily a few people stayed after to help. One of these people was my friend Derrick, who I would have enjoyed talking to during the clean up process but I could not because a guy named DUMPY was there and he was blabbing blabbing blabbing the whole time taking all of the conversation space and using it up for himself about boring dumb stuff. "Oh how many brothers do you have? That's right the one that is the track star and then the other one. And how many sisters? oh and do people in China have a lot of holidays? I got threatened by one of my students before... I used to be assistant manager of a Super Walmart... In Austrailia people have different accents... I have a racist leechy brother... blah blah blah" non stop from his mouth and I was getting so annoyed!! I decided to masque my irritation for him because, after all, he was helping clean up after the gigantic meal that I had basically spent all weekend preparing and worrying about. Finally when all the dishes were clean and all the tables put away, I was mopping the kitchen floor as the last thing to do and then DUMPY turns to me and says; "Thank you for staying after and helping us clean up!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I was so mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe it's dumb that I was mad, but why was this annoying guy thanking me as if it were his deal that we were cleaning up after?? Obviously he didn't realize that I was the person who was in charge of it and had cooked his very post-fasting dinner for him... but still it's not like he had anything to do with it either way, to go around being all annoying when I wanted to talk to Derrick but couldn't, and then thank the helpers as if it were him and his cause they were helping.

I know I will suffer in the after life for being upset about being "thanked" by someone and then making up a mean name for him and then writing a blog about it, but that is that.

Does anyone understand where I am coming from???

The End.

Years Old

So I really think that I am getting OLD because I have basically had 2 jobs at a time for most of my working life and I was always able to do it but now I am starting to get really tired/exhausted from it and that means I'm old. I am pretty sure that in my head, to myself I am about 19 and I pick 19 because my lifestyle today basically is the same now as it was when I was that age (just with less friends now ha ha!) and I don't feel like a "grown up" I realized this, for the hundredth time, when I was talking to one of my coworkers about an upcoming event that I am in charge of and I said "I don't think I would feel as stressed about it all if there was an adult in charge" ha ha HONESTLY I wasn't even trying to make a joke!! I stopped myself and had to remember that I am almost freaking 27 years old! What do you do when you're 27? Is that the age when you become a real adult? If not, when is it? I need some input here because that number seems big and complicated and I don't know if I can handle big and complicated. I can handle turning 20 -- in my head, that's what comes after 19 right? maybe towards the end of next year I can submit mission papers... I think it would be cool to turn into a crazy person instead of an adult, like Jessica, a lady I met in Argentina who was so so so so crazy and it makes me laugh every time I remember about her.
I know none of the above paragraph makes much sense, and the different sentences don't really connect or correspond with each other. That is because of my early-onset Alzheimer's Disease kicking in. I am getting OLD!!!!!!!

Restaurants

I was discouraged when only one person sent me a love potion recipe and well... that wasn't actually a recipe but oh well, I guess I will get back on the saddle and write another blog. This one is about restaurants. So I recently moved to Phoenix Arizona and don't have many friends or acquaintances yet (Heather, I know this is all important news to you) and since I moved here I have not once gone out to eat in a restaurant with anyone as a social experience. I was mentioning this to a friend of mine, we'll call him "SB" and he told me that he doesn't eat at restaurants!!! Basically that was the craziest thing I had ever heard in my life. How do you separate your friends from the rest of the people? I thought that the ones you went out to eat with were you friends and the rest were just people that were around. I don't even get it. Seriously I am a little tired right now and might not be stressing this fact enough, but it is the hardest thing for me to imagine. Like how it's hard for me to imagine that I lived in the days before the internet, and how I used to think that carrying a cell phone around with me was just an expensive burden and not a complete necessity. I don't even know what's important anymore. I don't even know what is real and what is not real. I don't even know who I am... and most importantly I really want to go out for sushi and I still have no one to go with!!!

Love Potions

So I have to make someone fall in love with me before I get too haggard... So I am asking for anyone's recipe for a love potion. I'll let you know if yours works the best. I will pay 6 dollars to the winner. Let's make it a contest!

Oops moment at work, part 1

So I was at work on Friday, and I had a document in my in box that was supposed to go to a different department. I went up to this guy we'll call "Brian" because he was in the department that needed the document. I didn't really notice but he was going through some things in his desk drawers. I asked him:
"Who do I need to give this paper to?" and he responded
"I don't know I don't work here anymore" and I responded
"Yeah RIGHT!!!" and then he looked at me with a mad mad face and said
"Do I look like I'm joking?".
Well for the record he didn't look like he was joking. He kind of looked like he was gonna punch me but it wasn't like the eye of the tiger or anything really, it was more just like he had just been fired and I was causing an embarrassing scene over the matter. Once I caught on to that fact I just said, "Oh, I'm sorry" and quietly sneaked away, almost in a tip-toe fashion. Then I quietly started telling everyone in my department how "Brian" just got fired, but really they should feel bad for me because I got looked at with a mean mean face! ha ha!
There is an illustration to go along with this story.

Welcome Message

"Ha ha dork value, make a blog so I can stalk it"

That is what Heather commanded of me, so I am making this blog so Heather can stalk me. That is really the only reason. She is pretty fascinated with my life that she wants to live her life reading whatever I write about mine, so this gift is for you Heather... Merry Christmas!!!

If anyone else reads anything on here, you are welcome to be here, unless you are someone that I hate or kind of hate.

Please be advised that anything I write is mainly geared towards one audience, (Heather) so I can make her have ugly laugh.

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